The End of the Lone Wolf Model of Entrepreneurship: Creative Collaborations Between Powerful Woman That Make Money and Bring Joy

Next week, my dear friend, Ann marie Houghtailing, a brilliant business coach, speaker and solo performer, is flying to Santa Fe, where we are leading a four day intensive called Solo Performance Mastery together.

I am bursting out of my skin with excitement about our collaboration. Her focus on the business of solo performance and how to leverage one's show into a well paying caree,r is the missing link for many of my clients. While I focus primarily on the creative aspects of developing a solo show, this retreat will offer an extremely holistic approach to those who are devoted to this journey as their life time work.

Ann marie and I met when she flew out to Santa Fe to create her own solo show, five years ago, and, since then, I have hired her as a business coach and referred her to many other people. We overlap in experience and areas of expertise, yet each of us has a slightly different primary focus as well as complimentary, yet different tones, both personally and professionally.

We joke about our differences and Ann marie once famously said "Tanya and I are pretty much exactly alike except, not at all." 

The chemistry between us, I believe, has to do with the fact that we are each strong and individuated woman. Both of us are quite secure in who we are and what we do. We also both genuinely love empowering other woman. That impulse and wellspring comes from a very deep place inside each of us. I know that we recognize it in each other. 

We both dislike pettiness and small mindedness.Perhaps most importantly, we make each other laugh. In other words, we share values that enable a collaboration succeed.

My friend Candace Walsh and I have a similar, yet, "unique to us" dynamic. Candace and I have created a writing workshop called Author It! that supports people, over a six month process, to complete their memoir. Candace is an accomplished magazine editor and author herself. I have edited two books and coached hundreds of people on writing and performing their stories. 

As with Ann marie, Candace and I have a deep and abiding respect for each other's work and contributions. We also are somewhat yin/yang in style with me focusing more in supporting people through their perceived writing obstacles while Candace offers them tons of insiders knowledge about both writing and publishing. Again, I would say that our skill sets are both complimentary and overlapping.Yet, we come to the table with strong differences that only expand our offerings to our clients.

These partnerships with Ann marie and Candace have been a fairly recent development in my work. They have already been so fulfilling, that I am planning many more strength based collaborations to add to my service offerings in 2015.

As I celebrate and embrace these partnerships, I reflect on another less successful pairing I once experienced in business partnership and the differences in these two models. I also reflect on the fall out from that negative experience which influenced my decision to act as a lone wolf ,almost exclusively, for many years. 

Based on what I've experienced, I've come up with a list of Do's and Don't when considering partnering with someone in creative and financial collaborations~

1) Do, choose to partner with people one project at a time. 

I am a firm believer in steering our own ships. One of the reason's that things went south with my earliest foray into partnering with someone, was because we became business partners in everything, not just one project.This was an enormous mistake that ultimately cost us our business and our friendship. It took me years of recovery time to get back on my own strong path.Powerful people have different talents and interests. They also have different ways of doing things.The course changes many times throughout our professional lives.

When my former business partner and I were starting out, I think our own fears led us to think that our success was contingent on the other. Neither of us trusted fully that we could go it alone and be ok. This turned out to be simply not true and lead to irreparable conflicts. 

This is a warning; do not become business partners with someone in all your professional endeavors! Not in intention and definitely not legally. No matter how much you love them. No matter how you swear that your friendship can handle anything. People change over time. Be a free agent.

End of rant. You've been dully warned. 

Instead, partner with individuals who share your level of professionalism on a project by project basis.One of the paths stated above is the road to hell and one is the road to bliss. Seriously, this one point cannot be overstated.

2) Do partner with someone you know and respect professionally. They may or may not be a close friend personally.

The criteria for investigating partnerships professionally involve stepping back and taking a critical assessment of who this person is in business. Have they already had success in their own field individually? Have you interacted with them in a group setting? How do they present in front of other people?

You want to make certain that you will be able to trust the other person in a group situation. Because not only will their reputation be at stake but so will yours. You will forever be associated with anyone you share public billing with. I know this from personal experience, both good and bad. As I have become more experienced, I have become more discerning.

3) Do partner with people who will enhance your own brand.

I am very proud to share equal billing with both Ann marie Houghtailing and Candace Walsh in the workshops that we co-lead. Each one enhances the brand I have worked so hard to establish and I believe that I do the same for them.

Last year, Theo Pauline Nestor, the author of "Writing is My Drink" invited me to speak and teach solo performance at writing conferences that also featured Anne Lamott, Julia Cameron and Natalie Goldberg as speakers. Of course,I jumped at the chance. All of these woman, including Theo are well known writers and creativity coaches. Their work is complimentary and, indeed, I have used many of their exercises and techniques with my clients over the years. And, better yet, I got to share my own work with people who did not know of me or my work. It brought me several new clients and some came to me because of the credibility that was attached to the names of the other teachers.

In a win/win situation, this will go back and forth. Your good reputation brings credibility to your collaborators as much as theirs does to you.

4) Do, create a workshop or service where you each play slightly different roles. Define roles and responsibilities from the outset.

Who takes the sales calls? Who creates the poster? Who provides the workshop space? Who teaches in the a.m? Who speaks on what topic?

Even if you like to create in an improvisational way without every moment defined ahead of time (as I do), it is important to respect your collaborator and work things out for everyone's comfort level. You want to know what each of you will focus on and how you can support each other during the actual workshop. You don't want to step on each others toes on the day of the actual event. A little planning ahead of time allows for a smooth first run. Then after a while, if you collaborate on more than one project, you will intuit more and more things about each other that can lead to an easy flow.

5) Do Collaborate with Generous People (And always be generous yourself!!)

Candace sometimes shows up with home made goodies for our writing groups. Ann marie offers the services of her graphic designer and her technical advisor to deal with deposits and payments. Theo made sure that I was comfortable at the hotel as soon as I arrived to speak at her workshop in California.

I too am generous with my treasured colleagues. I'm always happy to promote their new projects on social media. And, when I initiate a project, I always suggest a 50/50 split with folks regardless of who is doing the lions share of promoting. There is no tit for tat. 

A spirit of generosity, both emotionally and financially is what leads to win/wins. Everybody feels valued and there is no hierarchy on the team. Both people are equally invested in making the event a success. This is what you want.

This is actually what moves your event to a higher level. More people will be attracted to it. It's what leads to joy and long lasting relationships. Generosity is what makes your business and life sublime.

People who are small hearted and cheap, may get by in the short run, but over time they never get the home runs. 

The people who get very close with me have huge souls. And part of having a huge soul includes generosity. They are the people who I want to continue to collaborate with, over time.

Don't:

1) Don't give up your own individual projects no matter how much success you have in partnering. You are adding to your own value and reputation as you individuate as well as partner.

2) Don't work with people who are rigid or attempt to dominate you.

3) Don't go "off brand" or bend too far toward a collaborators brand.

Recently, I had an interesting experience with a planned workshop with a potential collaborator that flopped. We just didn't get enough interest in it to do it. On a creative level, I know that it would have been a wonderful workshop with great value for the right participants. However, when I closely examined it, I saw that it was slightly "off brand" for me. My expertise, that I have been developing for years, is centered very specifically around creativity, solo performance, therapeutic monologues, memoir writing and promoting all of the above. It is a niche field based on the writing and/or performing of a personal story.

The workshop that flopped was centered around living an abundant life. It was more esoteric in nature and the outcome may have been viewed as intangible and therefore less valuable. I was attempting to partner with a friend who is a healer and psychic. Now, many other people offer workshops on similar topics, many to great success. But for me, it ended up being a valuable lesson to stick closer to my already established platform. It is the area in which I am trusted and already known as an expert. 

4) Don't partner with anyone who you feel is competitive with you or jealous of your success. 

Even if you only feel a small inkling, stay away from these folks. You may be able to navigate some as clients who have this issue, though you will need to have ironclad boundaries. It's a skill I've mastered through trial and error over time. Therapists also need to learn this skill and some of my work is similar in nature. But, even if someone is talented and gifted, if you suspect that she has unresolved issues with other woman, run the other way. This is a hard won lesson for me as well as most of the woman I've partnered successfully with. It can be part of our on the job training as creative entrepreneurs.

A red flag in terms of looking out for these woman: First, they will put you on a huge pedestal. They will want to be your friend, flatter you and assume an emotional intimacy with you right off the bat that is one sided.

Later, when they see something in you that disappoints them, or you are not available for the connection they want, or they reveal themselves to you and then feel shame, you will not only come down off that pedestal, you will become demonized. You will especially become demonized if you have a healthy boundary with one of them.

Understand, that these people are dangerous and when you are considering collaborations, you must be very awake that these kinds of people do exist. And they will be drawn to you as you stand more and more in your own light.

Trust your intuition and never abandon yourself, especially if you feel any red flags.

5) Lastly, don't forget to have fun. Taking risks and trusting yourself to show up and do what it takes to have a joyful and productive collaboration is totally worth it.

Though I still love my one on one projects with clients, as well as spending time alone with on my own creative work, partnering well can offer much abundance and fun to our business'. It also combats some of  the fatigue that so many solo entrepreneurs face of having to always create and manifest on their own. 

Take a risk. Look down your list of friends and contacts. Who could you partner with for a win/win workshop or other event?

Holistic Abundance: Making a Living and a Life Through Your Creativity and Authenticity

There is such an illusion in American culture, in particular, that equates abundance and fulfillment with money only.

Notice I said "money only" not "money." While money is essential to our well being as humans, how we generate that money is just as essential, to move from survival to thriving on this planet.

As a person who facilitates and witnesses so many people's stories, I know for sure that access to money alone, whether through a trust fund or undesirable job, does not equate true abundance.

Making money as a form of payment for doing what we love and sharing our gifts in the world, is another story.

True abundance comes from so many factors: sharing our gifts, loving ourselves, being in service, expressing ourselves authentically and having deep connection with each other and our communities. This holistic abundance will take as many unique tones and expressions as human's on the planet.

Like so many of us, I was a child born in the sixties who came of age in the early eighties. I not come from a family of artists, with the exception of a great grandmother, who was a painter, and died long before I was born. My family were appreciators of art, in other words, audience members. Art was valued, but was also seen as something for "other people." Something wonderful and slightly mysterious, but not for us.

When my propensity towards theater began to grow in early adolescence into an earnest career destination, the family misgivings were loud and clear.

"You will never make a living in theater"

"You better take computer classes as a minor"

"New York is dangerous. Actresses are a dime a dozen"

"You promised your grandfather you'd go to law school"

"It's not a real job, there is nothing you can do with a theater degree"


These messages were not enough to entirely stop me from pursuing my path. I will say, that as long as they were in my head, they did slow me down.

However, whenever I tried to take on any other kind of vocation, I was miserable. When I was connected to theater and later, storytelling and writing, I was happy. Joyful actually and what money I  did make from my true calling felt wonderful, like a natural part of the whole.

I was thirty six before I finally started to make a living off my authentic work. By the time I started putting it out publicly, it had had a chance to grow and morph into something that truly reflected my passions, my talents and my unique way of expressing myself in the world.

And, I too had a chance to grow, emotionally and spiritually through many process's that allowed me to create from a place that was organic to who I am, in my essence as a human being.

Over time, I created amazing my from a deep well inside me along with supporting many others in the expression of their stories, books and solo shows. People had amazing transformations and I was learning from everyone I worked with for a very long time. I knew I was on my true career path. I have  intimately taken ownership of my creativity for a long time.

For years though, I continued to struggle with making enough money to go beyond living only from month to month. I also felt hopeless for a long time in the area of creating a personal relationship with a loving partner that could go the distance.

Part of my own path to creating a truly abundant life, was to continue to embrace various healing modalities that would allow me to release any pattern of limitation.

About three years ago, everything began to come together for me, deeper than before ,in ways that were both miraculous and swift. As I released more levels of family programming, fear and doubt, I manifested the missing pieces to my own abundant life.

I recently turned fifty. I was able to look back in wonder and awe that I had actually come to embody a life that felt out of reach for so long. My creativity continues to deepen, my clients are working on higher levels of creative consciousness, my daughter is thriving and launched for her senior year in high school abroad and I have finally have been in a loving partnership for the last few years.

Hurrah!

And what I know now is that devotion to the deep path of abundance involves a level of fierceness and tenacity over time that must be lived. It is not enough to visualize, go to therapy or 12-step meetings. It is not enough to work through The Artists Way, though any and all of these things can be steps along the path. That will help you feel some movement, but without a deep sense of wholeness in yourself, you may still feel frustrated by experiencing "Abundance Lite" This is the state of having money, but no personal power in your primary relationship. Or a loving relationship, but still having a job that pays the bills, but does not allow you self-expression In other words, something essential to your well-being is awry and you do not know how to shift.

If you truly want to step into your authentic abundant life, I have created this upcoming retreat with my friend and healer/coach Robin Duda to support you in making the necessary breakthroughs.

It takes courage, tenacity and a ruggedness of spirit to have the courage to once and for all create our lives in a way that matches our deepest desires.

If you feel moved and inspired, please check out this link:

www.TheAbundantLifeExperience.com

Come and embrace your abundant life and receive the tools to finally create what you really desire. Go for the breakthrough~

Stories From the Tribal to the Universal: An Authentic Process to Create Peace on Earth

Watching the escalating violence in Gaza and Israel these past weeks has been devastatingly painful for all of us who are connected to our hearts.

Hopelessness can be easy to succumb to in the face of such an overwhelming violent conflict that carries the history of tragedy that spans not only decades, but centuries. The issues of these two tribes, closely related, but with marked differences, is the archetypal stuff of legends, stories and unfortunately, ongoing conflict.

The issue of tribalism and tribal allegiance really does play out on the world stage. So many shake their heads and wonder, why does cognitive dissonance and lack of critical thinking run rampant through communities of otherwise compassionate, intelligent, progressive people? How do people get so polarized? How do we bring empathy for the perceived "other" into the conflict?


This is a theme and process I have been exploring for many years as a storyteller, coach and originator of a therapeutic monologue process. When I began doing this work, I was drawn primarily to stories of deeply personal matters like those of my late mentor, Spalding Gray. Spalding was obsessed with the minutia of life and his own inner process. He was a brilliantly entertaining storyteller who was able to turn many events of his life into engaging stories.. He spun stories of his life from a most intimate vantage point. And, he did let us in on some of his own family stories, namely, his Christian Scientist upbringing and the suicide of his mother.

His inspiration was my starting place. My first and third solo shows, Honeymoon in India and Pregnant Pause were confessional and intimate, both stories of archetypal personal journey's. They were both well received and as I embodied and released my own narrative, through the act of being witnessed in performance, I found my self expanded and more concerned with other's narratives. In essence, as I had honored and released my story, my own capacity for empathy and concern for others grew. I guess you could say, my soul expanded.

I have seen the process happen with other solo performers as well. Often, once the deep personal story is embodied, told and released, a desire quite naturally arises to offer the space for others to have that experience. As we are generous to ourselves in the expression of our own stories, the generosity moves into the world.

After this, I began working with groups of people to support them in sharing their experiences and claiming them onstage. These early groups were mostly people with cancer, though this shifted to include many others over time. When people share their personal and familial stories onstage, the audience becomes their tribe, encouraging, bearing witness, empathizing, crying, laughing and loving.

This in itself shifts the limitation of tribal experience to one religious, cultural or ethnic group. This begins to expand the concept of tribe to humanity, whether the individuals personally know each other or not. And, the performing, opening his soul to share the true story with the audience, offers the audience a similar experience. Their notion of tribe moves from the familial to include all they are sharing the stage with and the community of the audience bearing witness.

In 2007, I had the opportunity to work with Israeli, Arab Israeli and Palestinian teens who came to a peace camp here in New Mexico. When they arrived from their conflicted homeland, where all of their tribal conditioning had taught them to see each others as enemies, I knew that this work could be used in a more powerful way than ever. As the girls went through the writing and performance process together, tears were shed and once hardened opinions about each other were softened. A tremendous amount of trauma was processed as well. 

Interestingly, much of the trauma was not the girls own , but the trauma of their families. Jewish girls wrote of the trauma of their grandfathers and great-grandmothers who perished in Auschwitz or survived and made the journey to what was then, Palestine. Palestinians also told stories of their ancestors, including ones of having their land simply taken and being moved off it unceremoniously by Israeli soldiers.

The girls moved through their own tribal pain and listened to the others tribal pain, including the Arab Israeli girls stories of being torn between two worlds and cultures, never knowing how they fit into the equation.

By the night of the performance, they had each others backs, literally and figuratively. As they stood, with roses in hand at their standing ovation together, there were all the tribal stories represented and yet no tribal domination.

The very human tribal experience, as it had been seen, heard and honored, shifted from the emphasis tribal into the Universal.

As I directly experienced it, in the moment I cried and got chills. Right there, I understood viscerally,  that I was being shown an authentic path to peace.

For others interested in StoryHealers work (www.StoryHealers.com) here are the orders of healing necessary for true deep and sustaining transformation:

1) The personal story is told in an emotionally connected and embodied way. It is honored, shared and released.

2) The family story is told in an emotionally connected and embodied way. It is honored, shared and released.

3) The tribal story is told in an emotionally connected and embodied way. It is honored, shared and released.

4) Now, we can move into the Universal story. One which not only recognizes oneness among all people, but which knows it as it's own. This is a place which transcends the trauma and pain of ego based tribal separation and knows itself AS the other. Ultimately, it comes to know that there actually is no other.

From this place of both vulnerability and great strength, one can step up as a leader in the quest for peace.

And, any person who has experienced this transformation will speak out, no matter what the consequence, when violence, trauma and injustice is being unnecessarily instilled in ANY one tribe over the other. They will not be swayed down tribal lines where there actually is no genuine free will. People in this state often use rage, name calling, bullying, hate and victimhood to distract from their deep terror that they do not matter. Or that their families and tribes suffering do not matter. Underneath all the revenge patterns lies the same wounded heart that needs support to be set free to love. The patterns will continue to play out on the world stage, as long as there is an attachment to the tribal beliefs over the Universal experience of oneness and love.

When I began working with stories through solo performance and storytelling over twenty years ago, I had no idea of their actual power to change circumstances. First they changed my life, by empowering me in finding authentic expression of my experiences and learnings from those experiences. But then, I found that they not only changed me, but shifted beliefs in both audiences and the performers.

No matter how long it takes, I believe that creating spaces for individual and collective healing to happen is the only way long term peace and emerge. That is the place where our hearts can move beyond the rage and violence that keeps repeating itself as a default, the place where old traumas have not had the chance to heal and the place of pain and separation for billions on the planet.

Please join me in holding the space for the disparate stories in ourselves and others so we have the opportunity to transform toward peace in our souls, embodied on earth~

In love to all~
Tanya

A footnote: If all goes well, I will be taking the StoryHealers process to the West Bank and Haifa to work with theater artists on both side of this tribal story unfolding. With the escalating violence in the region, I ask you to hold everyone there in your hearts with good will toward all people. My team and I will be keeping you posted on the progression of the project and if the circumstances make it possible for us to go be in service to the stories....every human life matters. 

solo: What I've Learned by Fifty.....Reflections on an U...

solo: What I've Learned by Fifty.....Reflections on an U...: This is the last week of my forties. I was inspired by Anne Lamott's post a few weeks ago on turning sixty. I thoug...

What I've Learned by Fifty.....Reflections on an Unconventional and Creative Life

1. 
   

   This is the last week of my forties. I was inspired by Anne Lamott's post a few weeks ago on turning sixty. I thought I would comment on what it feels like to be turning one decade younger.
   
   I thought I'd share a few things I know for sure, to use "Oprah Speak" so to speak.
   
   Here goes:
   
   #1 I don't actually know much of anything for sure. But I do have some insights that are true for me.
   
   Coming from a linear upbringing on the east coast, going through the American school system and having my particular family, set me up to present myself as certain about everything in my life, even though, in reality, I have always been terribly uncertain. Part of my own healing journey has been to allow myself more and more, to live in the unknown and find off the beaten path methods to discover and create. As I allow myself to get comfortable with more uncertainty, I feel free, and, consequently, more alive. It is in the unknown that we open ourselves up to being surprised with our creative process and with life itself. Willingness to let go of set ideas offers more of a sense of presence which allows a deeper experience of all of life.
   
   #2 Traveling while I was young, especially internationally, has expanded and informed my entire life for the better.
   
   Luckily for me, I came from a family that saw great value in living and/or traveling abroad. By the time I was ten, I had spent time in Puerto Rico, Lebanon, Syria, England and Scotland. As a matter of fact, my most joyful memories of childhood were at my grand-parents house in Beirut, before the war. It was an extremely privileged life and we would walk down their stone steps, right into the deep blue Mediterranean Sea. My grandfather would take my to the King George Hotel for peace melba ice cream sundaes in the evening. We went to see Ella Fitzgerald at the Balbek Ruins. And yet, it was on this trip, which lasted an entire summer, where the seeds of my own activism were planted. My family and I went for a few days to visit Damascus, Syria. I remember when we got out of the car, we were surrounded by children, my own age and younger, trying to sell us Chicklet's gum. I asked my grandfather why they were so aggressive, so intense. He explained to me that they were trying to make enough money to buy bread for their family so they would have food to eat that evening.
   
   The shock of it blew my mind. I had never wanted for anything my whole life, and the full body realization dawned on my impressionable heart that there were children in the world who had nothing. So often, we hear and see bigots and racists spouting blind patriotism. And yet, these same people have never traveled to other lands and opened themselves up to even experience other people and cultures. They have not even tried to understand. Of course, this also happens in our own country, between different classes, races and ethnicities.
   
   The expansiveness of travel has informed my being more than anything. I create not for myself, or my country, but for all people. Traveling at a young age taught me that we are all connected and the place where we are born is pure luck of the draw. We Westerners have tremendous luck and privilege.....Which takes me to Point #3
   
   #3
   
   If you have been fortunate enough to be born into or with privilege, the only appropriate thing to do with it, is to use it to level the playing field for everybody.
   
   Is this clear enough?
   
   #4
   
   Longterm breastfeeding of my daughter was my greatest accomplishment in this life time.
   
   It challenged me to the max, it went against dominant culture and it was exhausting. However, the bond that we formed, and the extraordinary young woman she is, certainly has at least a bit to do with that ongoing act. And, when we hit rough patches during the teen years, I am fully convinced that it was the depth of that bond that happened in those early years, that brought us back to each other again and again. Love wins.
   
   #5
   
   No relationship is a failure, even if it does not last.
   
   This is an awareness that I have resisted and come to late in my life. For many years, I saw myself as defective because I did not create sustainable partnerships in romantic relationships. I've been married and divorced three times, over the three previous decades of my life. In my twenties, I married a sexy, handsome Egyptian. We met in New York and traveled to Cairo together in the winter of my twenty second year. Against family wishes, I married him. The marriage was doomed from the start. Values clashed as did cultures and neither one of us could see our way through the mess. In retrospect, I see the entire thing as a lesson in self love, self respect and a window into my father wounds that it would take years to begin to heal.
   
   In my early thirties, I married my daughter's father. We met in a twelve step meeting, where we were both seeking healing from family wounds and were each attempting to ready ourselves for adult lives. We wrote poetry together, made each other vegetarian dinners in our tiny apartment on Santa Fe Avenue and eventually created a perfect baby girl together. We went to India on our honeymoon and I came back and wrote my first solo show about the journey. He was my best friend. I thought we would be together forever. However, beneath the surface, he was battling a brutal and severe mental illness that would take him over completely and spit him out, just barely, many years later.
   
   My last marriage was the one that almost killed me. I married the man because he is a wild creative genius, and, I thought, my soul mate. Instead, I found someone far more broken than me and I was running out of time and steam in terms of being a savior angel for a wounded man. A few days after my 44th Birthday, I was sitting in my studio and a message dropped into my head. The voice was clear as a bell and came from the deepest realms of my being. It said " You need to leave this marriage, or you will manifest cancer within a year."
   
   And so, despite the "oh, shit" voice, which was going into panic and shock that I would be starting over, with my daughter, yet again, I moved out of our beautiful east side house, ten days later with $5,000 to my name. And the ending of that relationship took me to the kind of bottom/phoenix from the ashes for one more final and powerful time. And I knew, after that, that I would never give my power away to a man again. And, that led me to several years of deeper healing than I ever knew was even necessary. I finally landed in myself, around the age of 47.
   
   The fact that I landed in myself at all is a miracle and taught me that if we use all the heartbreak as food for awakening, we become more powerful than we ever know.
   
   #6
   
   I am teaching my daughter, that as a woman, she must learn to make and manage her own money.
   
   Thanks, Ann Marie Houghtailing and all the other powerful woman who have modeled to me that I must value myself in this way, to make an impact in the world and take care of myself and the people that I love.
   
   It took me quite a while to let go of conditioning that told me I must depend on a man or that I would never be prosperous as an artist. These past few years have really been about knowing this and embodying this in a much deeper way.
   
   It feels great to embark upon this decade knowing that I can ask for my worth and own my life financially, doing what I love.
   
   #7 Telling the truth about my age, is an act of power.
   
   I will not be bound by the patriarchy. My best is yet to come. I am grateful for woman who are empowered mentors who are rocking 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond.
   
   #8 I love you all and am doing my best. However imperfect I am, it has to be enough.
   
   So many of us have wasted years in rigid perfectionism and/or controlled by buckets of shame because we could never live up to an ideal, our own, or anybody else's. As a solo performance coach and memoir facilitator, I see, over and over again, how we all struggle to trust that our voice, our story and our very lives themselves are enough. There is so much suffering in these painful and illusionary beliefs. They are simply not true. If you are wasting your time, trying to be perfect, real moments will pass you by. Perfectionism is a way to torture ourselves and I refuse to partake.
   
   I am more ready than ever to enjoy the sensations of today, whatever is left undone. Paradoxically, that attitude allows me to get more done in the realms that really matter.
   
   It is through love of self, not hateful perfectionism, that I connect to my creativity, my source of joy, my empathy and my compassion. In short, my humanity, and after fifty years, that is where I intend to spend the rest of this journey.
   
     ...to friends, frienemies, enemies, lovers, strangers, family and all the rest. You are all, at the end of the day, my own heart. My devotion is to our collective awakening, that we may know each other as our dearest self. Grateful for every moment of these almost fifty years~