God, this has been a long time coming.
This has been with me through the last 9 years as I watched my life fall apart, built it back up, and watched it fall apart again.
It takes a lot to do a solo show. A hell of a lot. It takes courage. Confidence. Humility. And Help. Lot's of help. From forces both seen and unseen.
I help people write and perform their solo shows. I help people heal by writing and performing monologues about pain and trauma and illness. I am good at it. Because I have been there. And back. Several times in this lifetime. And, I do not look away from it. Any of it. I examine life. Mistakes. Loss. Grief. Trauma.
And now, at last...PLEASURE.
It took a lot of work behind the scenes to move my focus from trauma, suffering, and pain to pleasure.
I deserve this show. I deserve this life. So do you. We all do. But it takes a lot to move in this direction with assurance in this world.
This is a show that has always lived inside of me. I am a sensual being. I have a body as well as a soul. Living in it. Feeling it. Inhabiting it is a tremendous gift.
For years I couldn't claim it. For years I was dissociated from it. No more.
This summer I am 48 years old. And my daughter is turning 15. I have lived through other people's mental illness, through death of loved ones, divorce and my own "fixing nature" that just wanted to love everybody enough to make the world ok.
Life is short. Life is precious. Feeling our aliveness is where it's AT.
The next show is about pleasure. A last taboo. Is it really ok for us as woman to be in our bodies in a relaxed and easy way on this planet. To love our sexuality openly and fully. To let go of labels of ourselves and others.
To speak the unspeakable about what we like, what we desire, what we crave and HAVE IT, without apology.
I love Sex and I love God. In this crazy world that would separate the two, it it my intention to bring them back together, in my own body. In my own heart. In this precious, precious lifetime. I am fully human and fully Soul and I will not sacrifice one expression for the other.
20 some years ago, Eve Ensler spoke the unspeakable by asking woman about their vaginas. It was timely and important. It was also very focused on trauma, oppression and pain. That's a song and dance that many of us intimately know.
But there is something greater. Much greater. Moving past the trauma, moving into the full Venus power of our gorgeous and powerful beings. Truly loving ourselves. Each other and loving men, we hold the heart of pleasure in our very hands.
We are much, much greater than the old paradigm abuse/darkness would have us know.
Those stories have come and gone. And we still stand here in our wholeness and beauty.
This is the next wave on the planet and I am grateful to know that I am a part of bringing through this message. Through my own journey of being a woman. Through my stories.
This is my offering now. I am glad I waited 8 years and excited to bring you my new show. This October...
A Woman of Pleasure: A Monologue of Sex and God.
In Santa Fe...with love, Tanya