Thursday, September 5, 2013

Radical Trust of the Soul:Making All Creative, Business and Life Choices from the Inside Out~

Twenty- two years ago, when I left NYC for the unknown life that called to me from Santa Fe(where I had never been, by the way), my decision was seen by most all who subscribed to conventional wisdom as shooting myself in the foot in terms of my career in theater.

But, it was what my Soul wanted, and for me, following my Soul's calling has always trumped everything else. Even when decisions seem like they have a high price tag. Like, for example, the loss of a career in the field I love, perceived safety or financial security.

Of course, making decisions like this has not always gained me approval in the world. Lovers and a husband who I had set up shop with have been shocked and devastated if my Soul tells me "to go" and I listen.

But in retrospect and now, at forty- nine years old, I see the great good fortune of having my inner process. For, I have rarely made major decisions based on approval seeking (even though I like approval as much as the next person) and have generally trusted myself and my own inner directive, even when it seems to go against critical thinking or what may look rational. Or when others may judge me.

In time, the truth of who we are is seen or not seen by others.. People judge you anyway so why bother to try to please? It's a losing game.

Yes, my Soul has been designing a perfect life for me. One that nurtures the whole being of who I am. One that allows me to do the work I love the most, in an awake community that I love. I truly need to live in natural beauty to be at my happiest. Had I stayed in NYC, I would have compromised big chunks of myself. Likely, I never would have had a child there as the thought of raising a child in the city was horrifying to me. My sixteen year old daughter is the most important part of my life. And contrary to popular thinking (in Time Magazine no less) having a child ultimately made me MORE creative, more financially successful and more engaged in a larger purpose than I was before I had my daughter.

But I also didn't raise her in an environment that Time Magazine presumes nor in a prescribed way. Again, in terms of raising her I listened to my Soul. Not American parenting guidelines or AMA guidelines. But, that's another story!

Again, listening to directive from the inside out rather than the outside in allowed my Soul to gather all the puzzle parts that were most important to me to be happy in all ways.

And yes, it took a long time to bring in all together. And, I see that had I settled for half life decisions or quarter life decisions, things might have seemingly come together "sooner" But for me, I see how my Soul was driven for me to not settle for less than my total joy.

Now, all the essential puzzle parts for me have been gathered and I feel myself walking (and dancing) into the best time in my life with the opportunity to continually deepen in all creative aspects of my life. Because they are all "in place" so to speak.

Well, in all honestly, I'd like to find a way to travel more and do need to attend to saving/investing more of my income. But for me, this is minor and an organic addition to all that is already in place and flowing.


Some additional thoughts:

* Had I ignored my Soul, I would have stayed in NYC and likely ended up in perceived competition with other people in my field...all fighting over the same piece of the pie. Instead, moving to Santa Fe forced me to reach deeper into myself creatively and out into the bigger world business wise. Now, not only do I make more money for my services than the vast majority of my peers, but I get in amazing clients from all over the world, many who have dreamed of traveling to Santa Fe for years! Win/win/win

* Had I stayed in mediocre relationships, I would not have learned the lessons I needed to learn about myself. I would have settled for less and missed out on attracting a true Soul-Mate

* NYC is so expensive. I would never have never been able to afford to take the time off I did in my twenties to devote to my writing. Those 4 years where I wrote everyday and took writing classes constantly, helped develop the confidence, voice and understanding of theatrical writing that I needed to develop my shows and my business. Doing that process over that long a time span also allowed me to understand subtleties and blocks in others creative process that would prepare me deeply to coach and teach down the line.


To run a soul based business, one must life a soul based life and be committed to a soul based process however long it takes.

So, how do I do that;

1) Listen...to that small still voice. Make time to get to a quiet place, in nature, in a zendo, on your meditation cushion. We all must quiet the mind so we can hear our inner guidance.

2) Wisdom Writing: This is like journaling, but instead of focusing on your stories, focus on asking yourself questions and receiving answers. I am devoting an entire chapter to this concept in my upcoming book on solo performance. In the meantime, if you are confused or disturbed about something, write a question, the freewrite on the answer. Be open to learning something and letting go of your struggling point of view. The process of receiving information is supported by your willingness to let go of control or thinking you already "know"

3) Trust yourself. Trust your Soul. Trust your heart. The more you are able to put aside fear and trust your inner process, the more you can create the life that really lines up with who you are. In my experience, it will not happen overnight or be entirely linear. Continue to practice faith and trust. That's part of the coming together process.

4) Write your highest vision for your life. Let it be a living document. Change it and update it as you change. Keep refining what's most essential to you and what you can let go of.

5) Breathe. Walk. Read. Dance. Swim. Sit in the sun, drink really good coffee, make yourself a juice...in other words...live and enjoy the process as it continues to unfold!

Sending you Soul to Soul Support and upholding the vision for you~ Love, Tanya
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